"This Is My House"

"...I want you to know however that your love and kindness for me still, and your understanding of where I am right now is amazing to me, almost like a gift. 

In my mind right now I think what I shared with you in return this morning was a jumbled mash of insights and thoughts that perhaps does not clearly represent where I am or where I am coming from or what is happening for me right now.  I would try to clarify, but I know that I should also keep these things in my heart for the time being to be able to sort them out properly.  Please just know that this past weekend, I confronted the darkest side of myself.  But, thankfully enough, I also greeted back the hope and brightness of the woman within me.  It was good to see her again. 

And I am excited and hopeful of the path I take now for me.

I know I have the ability inside me to forgive those whom I need to forgive – and most importantly, forgive myself and move on from my past."

Comments

[bfg]

i'm glad you're in a better place now. this is hard.

i suppose forgiving is what you have to do. it's supposed to suck all that badness away and make it into nothing. i'm sure it works, but it's hard to forget isn't it.

i've thought myself that to get over things a kind of eccentricity is unavoidable. also difficult to explain. in brief: extraordinary circumstances calls for extraordinary measures.

buying an orchard might be an extraordinary measure.

[me]

I'm dealing this time by hopping on a plane.

Truthfully, the vacation was planned already. My breakdown just happens to conveniently coincide.

How thoughtful of it, huh? ;)